the 9 types of BITCHES le 8/5/2014

 

The BITCH (from wikipedia):

"noun: bitch; plural noun: bitches; noun: a bitch

1. 1.

a female dog, wolf, fox, or otter

(…).

1. 2.

informal

a spiteful or unpleasant woman.

(….)

1.  

make spitefully critical comments."

 

 

You get what I mean??? Of course you do.

 

I intentionally chose  to write this article in English, the french translation of bitch having, i guess, a connotation too…bitchy (ahem)….quoique pour certaines….

 

So, What are the 9 types of bitches that our society holds?

 

1- The bitchy friend

 

She is the one that tells you she has an unconditiionnal love for you with this sweet look that only SHE knows how to fake and then slams you in your back by promoting your biggest and darkest secrets on every social reunion.

 

2- The social bitch

                          

She is the one that you meet in social events and who tells you how great you look when you just didn't have enough time to polish your look or the one who compliments you on your "beautiful face"  when you just didn't get enough sleep the previous night, having to comfort your kid all night long for a nightmare he had..

 

 

 

3- Your man's bitchy ex

 

Maybe she's jealous of you because she still has feelings for him?? In this case you can eventually forgive her… she does have good taste, doesn't she? :)

 

 

4-Your old girlfriend 

               

She is the one with whom you had so much fun when you were both at school, who shared your best teen moments and with whom you grew up. Except that now, she ignores you when you cross her, or sometimes does not recognize you (really!)… Why? I really do not know… 

 

5- The "trying to be a bitch"

 

She is the one who tries to act like a bitch but who fails either:

-  because she is too stupid to manage the art of manipulating others

- because she had so many bad experiences with so many bitches in her life but when she tries to get revenge she eventually fails for the simple reason that it is just NOT IN HER BLOOD.

 

 

6- The social media bitch (or the hater follower)

                   

They constitute a new race of bitches that appeared with the booming of the social medias. She is the one who follows your social media page (fb, blog, Instagram…) regularly and religeously but…hates YOU! They call them nowadays the haters-followers

 

 

 

7- The jealous bitch

 

This one is jealous from everyone, without exception. Do not take it personal, she can be jealous of her own shadow (translation of a Lebanese saying). And she is REDOUTABLE. She doesn't even try to hide her jealousy!! She can be jealous of your new shoes, of your new haircut, of your new car (hehe) and even of your new boyfriend!!! So beware…

 

 

 

8- The bitchy co-worker

They are so many profiles for this bitch that I could create an entire article juste to enumerate them and them alone!

The pretentious co-worker bitch that knows everything about anything but in the end you realize she knows nothing; the one that sucks the bosses ass just to get a promotion; the one that invents stories about you just to isolate you from the others; the one that wishes you disappear just because your presence bothers her..etc and etc and etc.

   

 

9- The real bitch

 

She is the living proof of the bitch that covers all the definitions above but cumulates too the definition of the French translation of bitch (u get it?)…no further comment.

 

 

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